The Fluffanator!

yeah thats Fluffy up there ^^ Dosent she look like a Ewok? you know from starwars lol the simularities are amazing right? haha

So i Uploaded some pictures from my grandpas funeral, you can see the Army guys who gave the 21 gun salute, that was pretty cool. And you can see my dad, brothers and others holding the coffin, it has a flag on it too, its nice.

So yesterday i didnt do much except hate my upstairs neighbors, and go to Tashas to bake rocky road brownies, i should have taken pictures! haha. ok so ill explain about the neighbors. Their assholes. haha, ok so any time i walk out of my apartment, all i hear is "hey baby! hey!...hey!..hey baby! wanna ride this? hey! hey!bonita! ay! ay gurl! gury! ay!" till i get to the car. wtf! how often dose that even work for them??! honestly,, if i was able to murder with out any consequences i wouold stab their face off. i would! ah they are SO aggravating. oh so theres a plus, i wont have to see them once i move haha.

god i hate them.

Anyway!! we made the best rockyroad brownies ever! the marshmellows were the best part, yummyyy. we didnt go out or anything, just stayed at tashas and did what girls do, you know lol. And well, im not sure what im doing today, right now im just texting JB and on the net, oh ill go make lunch..or get subway! thats a better plan :3 haha

I Could Go Swimming In This Empty Void

You know how theres always that person who you will always love, but you hate them too. Because you gave them pretty much your all, and when you knew it just couldn't happen any more, when you were just tired of being trapped in that tiring time loop, they decide oh well im ready now i love and want you. And as much as you will always love them, its not in that same way, its not that - i want you every minute of everyday- love, its, a stale love you forgot about, one thats rotted. And you feel bad, for the turn down, for actually saying no to them for once, but you feel that strength in your self too. You know in your head, you cant and will never go through that again. And you restrain from speaking once again, because its the only way it can ever be. Their a chapter thats closed, but they should be a book with a lock placed in the restricted section. That is beyond more suitable. I cant help but have that chapter seep into my mind every once in a while, triggered by a piece of music, or some object laying around. it happens, its annoying but it happens. its even more annoying because you remember everything and wonder, why did i put up with that obvious bull shit? its annoying because you know how well that person knows you, more than anyone, they know what every shift of your body means and its the worse. its just an annoying thought to me now, looking back and wondering why didnt i save myself from it all. But i think about the now and i know its all good now,lifes good, people are good and im good. There are some things i dont have yet, things i want, people i want to be closer to that are distant in many ways, but the river is still flowing for me. Im writing right now to vent, and out of boredom, so if anyone actually reads this, sorry if it bores you haha.
I need something amazing to happen sooner rather than later, im not going to say what, ill jinx it, but if it dose ill let my invisible and non-existent audience know as soon as i can.

tonights a boring night,but the weather thats been happening lately makes me want to stay in, humidity and I dont get along very well.

lets dream a little longer,yes?

well, ive fixed up the blog a bit. Added a few side pictures, changed the backround, but the template is the same. Though, i cant seem to get the header centered, the "Hey Jude" picture up there ^^

yes that one.
but im liking the new backround :]

So i had a pretty great dream, but when i woke up i tried to dream longer. Have you done that? and theres that feeling of dreaming but you know you are, and you know its about to end, so you say bye to who ever your dreaming of. gosh i didnt want to say bye, lol. So after i wake up, i lay in bed for ten to twenty minutes, trying to think of everything that was in my dream,

im not very sure what im doing today, at all. drive around for a bit? i dont have any real set plans, and its ugly outside still, so it makes me want to just stay in lol. Im personally wishing it was fall or winter already. I want it to be cold, i want to wear my coat, mittens, boots, scarfs and hat. I think everything here just seems more beautiful when its cold. You have all the lights out everywhere, downtown, montrose, discovery green, the heights, rice village, everywhere is just beautiful. Stay out late at partys, but the cold makes it feel like clean fun to me. i dont know, i just might be crazy. :3

ok, time to put clothes on, other than pajamas.

god damn that butterscotch latte.
its good :]

if they give you ruled paper, write the other way.

Well now.

August 28th
Monday&Wednesdays 8am-11AM Chemistry
Tuesday&Thursdays 8am-9:30am English & 12:30-2pm Speech

i need a new coffee mug, mine fell into a black hole and is yet to be recovered.Parking Permit, books and..what am i missing,im missing something, ?

im not sure if i should even take classes. We're suppose to move in october, to corpus, but the parent want me to take my classes anyway. pointless right? so they throwing around the idea of staying till december, till my semester is over. i dont know witch way to go on this, any ideas?

those are the classes for now,i might add one more for mondays and wednesdays since they canceled the math class i was signed up to take :/ unsure still. But, i finally got my car back woot! i get to use it again, i love it :3 Hyundai Sonota '07, deep dark purple, sunroof and beautiful *sigggghhhhhh i love it! haha.
So my grandpas viewing was on friday, i got to raymondville around noon, woke up at 5am and left at 6am, it was a six hour drive..went to the viewing it was sad. the church part and funeral/burial was saturday, it was nice, he got a 21 gun salute for being in the Army and war, my family got to keep the bullets. After we all went to my Aunt Vivians for food, beer and just to be with family, it was fun i love her backyard its like perfect for parties and BBQ's sunday we just went to see more family and monday we left back to houston, 6hour drive -_- haha i got home and went to bed at nine! so, early.

im watching The Craft right now.

you know what, all my favorite coffee shops always end up closing. And their always the good ones, self-owned, K*Scoops, Harvest, i loved them. now im stuck with Starbucks or Dunn bros. Dunn bros is shit. sorry. id go to Agora but its too far and all the good seats are always taken. ItsAGrind is ok, but their missing the fun atmosphere. god i miss harvest. Carlo where are you!!..i hate you Starbucks, your so god damn convenient.

So i have a twitter, right? i gave in a while ago and its not too bad. but the reason i have it is because of one Lord Voldamort. yes, Harry Potters enemy. He is way too funny, i love reading anything he has to say its always hilarious! so because of that, i would so be a Death Eater. HP dorks know what im talking about haha. so you should defiantly check Lord V out, https://twitter.com/Lord_Voldemort7

Way too funny.

im way beyond bored right now, i feel a buffy marathon happening soon

my grandpas dead



i really want to just kick back
and smoke bowls and bowls of weed
good weed

turn the page. read.

if people were really books, things would be a lot easier. i cant stand the wait, the not knowing whats happening, the hesitant question thats never asked, the detours you seem to take. no detours anymore, be focused, go strait to the destination. i cant stand this anymore, the walls are breaking and it pisses me off. i can only avoid obvious thoughts for so long, you you make things so, OBVIOUS.

Long month of fun and shiz

Now wimberly/ Austin














Now Some San Antonio :]









And the ladies, but Verna was taking the pic lol

i had the best weekend ever,

I'm coming home
I've been gone for far too long
Do you remember me at all

I'm leaving
Have I fucked things up again
I'm dreaming
Too much time without you spent

It hurts
Wounds so sore
Now Im torn (Now Im torn)

I've been far away
When I see your face
My heart burst into fire
Hearts burst into fire

You're not alone
I know I'm far from home
Do you remember me at all

I'm leaving
Do you wait for me again
I'm screaming
No more days without you spent

It hurts
Wounds so sore
And now I'm torn (Now I'm torn)

Ive been far away
When I see your face
My heart burst into fire
Hearts burst into fire
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com

My bed so cold so lonely
No arms just sheets to hold me
Has this world stop turning
Are we forever to be apart
(Forever to be apart)

It hurts
Wounds so sore
Now I'm torn (Now I'm torn)

I've been far away
When I see your face
My heart burst into fire
Hearts burst into fire

(I'm coming home)
I've been gone for far to long
(I'm coming home)
Do you remember me at all
Do you remember me at all

I'm leaving
I'm screaming
I'm dreaming

As my heart burst into fire!

Replaceable

taking some pills
sick
going to sleep
still a bit upset


i refuse to talk about emotions to anyone except paper,
imnot having a good day.

save meeeeee



NIGHT

dim

should your other, as in partner, lover, soulmate, boyfriend, whatever you want to call them, know everything about you? even if its dark and dim. should they know? Or should you wait till they begin to ask about it, wait till you have to and even then not tell the whole story. Or should you come out with it all at one. Do they have a right to know it all. maybe it will help them to understand you, help overall. or, will it just make you weak, scare them off leaving you alone? i cant sleep and this is whats ragging my mind right now.what do you do with a dim past? You would want them to know every bit about you, the dark the light the stupid and the great. Thats how it should be right? i feel like it makes you weak and i cant get past that feeling.
its 3am.
bother me.

Gauges!!

ive been needing some new gauges for a while now, and i found two perfect pairs!! some lotus plugs and some emerald pinchers :] i love them <3 this site has a bunch of great body jewelry, and for some good prices too http://www.bodyartforms.com/index.asp Check it out :]
So been at the pool with the girls most weekends, corpus and austin next month!!!








im awesome, lol sexy face

"i need another reason why"

Dirt in the ground is what I need
I got another one to tell you
and another one to make you believe
pity in the grass tried to be
the one you needed when I told you
that you wanted something bigger than me

I've got friends in all the right places
I know what they want
and I know they don't want me to stay
I said that I've got friends in all the right places
I know what they want
and I know they don't want me to stay

'cause you are not alive
when I need you
I need it quickly
in case you never know

I can't play where I'm not supposed to anyway

dirt in the ground is what I see
I need another reason why
I need another reason, tell me to breathe
the dirtier the sound, the best I breathe
I tried to do it all for you
it didn't do anything for me

'cause I've got friends in all the right places
I know what they want
and I know they don't want me to stay
I've got friends in all the right places
I know what they want
and I know they don't want me to stay

and you and I will find
that when I need you
I need it quickly
in fact, you'll never know

I've got friends in all the right places
I know what they want
and I know they don't want me to stay
I said that I've got friends in all the right places
I know what they want
and I know they don't want me to stay.


-i love this song, plus this band. so things are eh right now,calm. Nothing really big is happening this month, next month im going to corpus for five days and than Austin for four :] i cannot wait!!grandpa is not doing any better, unfortunately. i wish Harvest would open back up, i miss my butter scotch latte and spinach&cream cheese dumplings :p i miss them so bad haha. well, listen to the video
its awesome.

Hospis

hes dying
no turning back
hes on a one way road
theres no where to go
just forward
im like a camera
i watch, i hear
no movement
im full of fear
cause, theres nothing to be done
hes done
i see his ghost in his eyes
he knows, and he cries
years of age, wrinkled under his eyes,
the smell of war tainted his skin,
he always knew what would happen to him
hes still a kid at heart
no lies, this is a new start
but whats my part?
hang back, take a seat
watch this man, slowly be beat
death is on his lips
he can taste it
we smell it
theres no arguing it
you cant throw a fit
theres no one to hit
i cant believe that
this is it
hes forced to quit
here i stand
while hes thrown in the pit

better off

* well i have not written in forever, and think its about time to fall back into my notebook and put my thoughts down. So, here you go,enjoy! and yes i do realize i write somewhat sad poetry, but its what i like, you feel it better. :D




i try
i try to get by
the memory of you
is always in the corner of my eye
im hypnotized.
though, we said our good-byes, and
i almost died, i swear i died
my heart dropped
time stopped.
my voice was caught.
It all came over me at once,
that first smile
the first sigh
the first time you nervously said hi
fear trickled down your skin
but that was the moment, you were invited in.
thats ages ago,
now were smarter, now i know
that you should walk away
no matter how bad i loved you,
how bad i wanted you to stay.
i had to go,
were batter off this way.

i like what i like

i know what i want. Something to last forever and could never be doubted. Something that can make me laugh when i feel like dying and to joke with me on everything possible. Something, that gets me little jokes that no one ever could understand. Something to have a home with, one that overlooks a lake, or a city,with a veiw so wonderful,you'd never want to look away. I want sunshine in my arms when its dark and thundering outside. Give me your world,and ill give you mine.
you could wait for something forever and achieve nothing, make a move.