Friday, March 23, 2012

Just thinking about death

I think thinking about death is something we always try to avoid, it's too hard, too difficult to accept. Live in the now, right? But I can't help but to sit up right now and think of death. A friend of mine from choir, A, who is by all means the nicest, most creative, totally not evil, hippie-esque girl I've ever known has lost someone. She is the kind of person who brings positive feeling and light into a room. The type of person who if anyone were to make her cry, a mob of people would come to her rescue and kick the ass of whoever did it. Though we haven't spoken since high school (2009) were on each others social networks. Well, her long time boyfriend, who she was with for a couple of years, who she traveled with to India, Budapest, Europe, spreading the word of their god, but never in an obnoxious in your face way, has passed away. He died. He was ill. And I can't help but feel this utter sadness overcome me, because she must be in pieces. All I can think, picture, or feel, is the heart break she must be going through. Because she loves him. And I know that if that happen to me, I would be more then heart broken, I'd be completely inconsolable. Id be torn apart. To lose your love, your best friend, the person who you thought would be your one and only? The utter thought tightens my throat. And for this to happen to someone as nice as her makes me so mad. Confused. It leaves me asking why? The always unanswered question that follows any hard death. Why. I hope she will one day be ok. Wtf universe?

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