Saturday, October 31, 2009


fall in love
with words
nouns, verbs
i know
its absurd
it cant be helped
what i read
what its made me felt
hear my words
taste them
face them.
words entrance me
make me fancy
whose lived for ever
tethered to time
passed down
just to be mine,
be mine.
my talent
my soul
my everything that's lived up to this moment
it makes me whole
lovingly lingering,
sensationally slithering,
in and out of my life
my time
showing you'll always be here
be mine.
do you see?
how i so easily
fall in love
with words
nouns, verbs
yes, i know

I'm absurd.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

pumpkins of amazingness

So, i was at work today and sinceitwas sunday it was busy in the morning than it as slow cause of church. so when its slow we watch the tv cause pretty much everything is clean haha,[this is off subject but i made ghosts out of paper the other day and hung them around cause no one would buy decorations at work so i made them!they were pretty much amazing] ANYWAY, i was watching the food channel and they do crazy shit on their, like cakes as big as me[5'0"] its crazy. well they did pumpkin carving today and wow, it was amazing! one woman made a pumpkin fountin of fog as tall as me!
It ended up making me sad though cause im carving pumpkins tomorrow and they will look like their pumpkins retarded babies =/ haha....
I tried to find pistures of the pumpkins i saw them carving on the channel but i coouldent find any so i just found some asome pictures of other peope carvings
enjoy =]

see? reincarnation is real!!

they eat their young


what an asshole...

so thats where pumpkins come from!who would thought?

This is my faviorte, it says "trick or treat kids?"

i will not be denied

i need you
the one thing in life i count on
the beat to wich i walk
and live by.
when your here
life cannot get better
im on edge
going through every emotion
im strong
in love
your what keeps me safe when theres no light
you are the ground under my feet and the air that i breathe
i cannot and will not go a minute without you
i refuse to.
you are a gift
a privlige
and i am lucky to have you
i embrace you.
are what i cannot live without
you are what i will die without
you,are my music,
my voice.
i will not be denied my voice

Thursday, October 22, 2009

" i let my cousin barrow my sharpie"

i saw this and i had to post it here, i thought it was hilarious casue people REALLY do look like this sometimes, its retarded but man it makes for good jokes haha. you should check out the other vids by her too lol shes really funny,

with halloween around the corner, i wanted to share a few,costume ideas

"Zombie Fetus"

When you decide to pull off an extremely creepy costume, it's best to let your attitude match it. Yeah, it's a dead baby but she's cool with it.

"suicide Bomber,kid size..."

"sexy Nemo"
When you were watching "Finding Nemo," didn't you just say to yourself, "Wow, if only he was a hot girl instead of a fish!" Dreams do come true!

"Anna Rexia"
I didn't know that eating disorders were sexy AND hilarious.

"Down with the Count"
People always say that Halloween is an excuse for women to dress like sluts, but from everything i've seen this holiday is an equal opportunity catastrophe. How would explain this costume to your mother, daughter, sister, friends, uncles, bus driver, or mailman?

"The Mangina"
If you wear this, it's the closest you'll come to seeing one that night

Well, what lovely costumes.If you havent gotten one yet i hhope ive helped you out!
Happy soon to be Halloween!


cant help it

i cant help but to have you on my mind
its like you live there
your always there.
dont take it as a bad thing
i want you here
i need you here always
i cant help but wisper your name in my sleep
dream about you when your next to me
i want you when i have you
your the oddest person
you create the oddest feeling
i cant help it that i want you when i have you
i wait till 5:45am rolls around
i wait cause im anxious for you to get here
to hold me
keep me warm
your always on my mind
wether your here next to me or not
i cant help it

pretty girl

its a shame
that such a pretty girl should want to cry
i read your words and its suprising
within each word i hear 'i wanna die'
but what do you say,
what can you do, for this individual
that dosent even know you,?
do you say,
'it will get better'
'pretty girls shouldent cry'
'oh, just look to the sunny side'
what if they've heard all they can hear
every word possible has been fed to their ears,
there is nothin to say to them
no where for her to go
stand still.
you break, a day and night of pain
scream cry whatever helps
there is no shame in all of your pain
your feeling something ive never felt
everyone has their edge
the cliff they reach to stare down at their problems
witch they were running from in the first place
it got them here
live, die?
jump back.

just another book

i know that im a closed book
and i refuse to let you read
but you see,
ive locked myself and ive forgotten where ive put the key
no worries..
my chapters begin white,
bright pages clean but a few chapers down
the pages turn brown, then dimmer
their pitch black,because
for a few pages i was lost
no words came outta me just silence
but it cleared and my words came back,
in rhyme,im rythm..
right now im mid-book,
my marker is waiting to move
my pages turn and turn,
revealing my thoughts, my truths and me
showing life..
seeking action and romance,
comedy and horror
everything a life lives on, memories
sometime i want to rip pages out,
forget the words and go on
im just a closed boook,locked
tell me if you find the key
till then this is me
just another book on a shelf
waiting to be read..

my flower

i hate how i have nobody real
how everythings gone a different path
different then what i saw atleast
i hate how we are now.
How a day is a blur to me,they always have been
how i breathe and i dont feel,like im not here
but i have no where better to be
all i wanted was a flower,
so fucking pretty but it had thorns
priked me,i bled but
i have it, its potted.
new season though, im waiting for it to bloom
for it to be ready,
i hate how i dont feel comfortable anywhere i am
just out of place,cant sit still
ill be looking around,at the scene,at people
i see im not the same but how, i dont know.
i like sitting next to that flower though,
reading next to it,relaxing.
i hate how nothing seems important to me sometimes
i just dont care sometimes and i dont see why others do
sometimes things just dont effect me
i just dont give a fuck,but i remember to water my flower
that matters.
i hate talking to people too
i mean,i talk alot but
i hate talking to people,i listen and i help
i talk back and i care but
sometimes their words go through me
they just fall and i stare at them
bbroken on the ground
i hate how i dont care,
well, i care about my flower..


soft lips kiss
caressing dreams
holding a heart,they move slowly..
kissing away the scars of the past,
eraseing the bad stories i have
lips run up and down hills
i try to catch up,
to chase..their fast..
those gentle lips..
catch watery looks in my eyes,
drying the pools,
i close my eyes,
soft lips..kiss me..
take it all in
let it all out.
i open my eyes..
its dark
these lips..
who are you?

the almost tree

an almost love
is an almost breeze
like an almost tree
would come from a seed
its that easy
simple to sprout
just add what you need
sun water..
see what comes out
clip the dead leaves
help new ones grow
dont forget it,
water it
dont faulter it
but thats if it grows,
cuz its an almost tree
but you have no seed..
stand up now
feel the breeze


i pace
back and forth.
i can walk for miles here
in the weather
its freezing,i can see my breath every few seconds
my cheeks are the coldest, redrying every few minutes
memorys in mind and conversations repeating
reliving places we went,
going over life,
this is the longest walk ive had
but ill walk till my feet bleed
ill walk till im out of breath
i love the cold.
i love the chill and numb feeling of it
so much, i could lay in the snow and not wake
i wouldent mind, its beautiful here
i can see it now
almost there
this is it.
this is the edge of the world.
This is the end.

my titles, the everlasting, whats yours

i can see it in your eyes
and i can smell it on your breath
it hurts.
i can hear it in your tone
and see it in the way you walk
your a fucking book
open,easy to read
no challenge
you dont even know it
i can read people easy and your the easiest
but i often close your book,
ignore the ink and what it says
eager to look at the end but no
it would ruin it.
Why cant you just read out loud to me
why cant you just say the word i read all over your face..
why dont you have a title,
you dont know who you are maybe
what, type.
im, The Everlasting.
there are secret pages, hidden words
places i overlooked
im double checking now
and their are so many edits, so many mistakes
i dont have enough white out for you
a flawed masterpiece
is there such thing?
am i blind and hypnotized by the ink?
the writing, the words and their feel?
i have a spot on my shelf you know, for you
right in the front.
but if you dont rewrite
fix the mistakes
ill just leave that space open.
there are more book to read

soundless words

whispered feelings
and mummered words
they fall from my lips sometimes seeming absurd
is it bad i want to scream?
is it a lack of selfesteem? Or is it something hiding in me?
something dark that i cannot see? Tell me
why my words are glass,floating in the air like butterflies
waiting to crash,you cant catch you cant snatch,Crash.
shattered shards lay on the floor im cornered i cant reach my door
so can you sweep up the peices and keep up what this is?
glue them together and tell me its better?
dont worry
dont fear
calm down
im here
can i scream my feelings
and yell my words?
can i say what i want, without being absurd?
this is absurd,
here i am
writing my quiet words
click clicking of my words
barely a sound they'll never be heard

my moon my stars my sun

you were my my moon, my stars
but everything got cold,and to see was hard
i felt around blind,looking for something, but there was nothing to find
in a cold world everything gose wrong,everythings a trick,
try as you might,dosent matter how strong,you wont win this fight
you disappear in the day,only to return at night
i missed the sun,my sun
my warm relaxing sun
your bright shine made me smile
and i miss that,to smile,
theres no sum now, its been a long while
lighting my path,showing me everything to see
the sky the grass the world and me
it all went dark.
but where is the moon,where are the stars?
theres nothing now, its gone too far!
its colder,darker i feel blind
but im waiting for my sun to ease my mind
but why do i miss it, my moon and my stars,
why do i miss what has gone so far,
only to return,to stare down with wide eyes
makeing me feel like i dont need the sky in wich my sun resides
theres that warmth,showing down on me
theres my sun,wheres my sun?
i feel you shining on me,
but i cannot see.

i need white out

my eyes glisten
it was all for you, it was always for you
your just a character in your own life
not real, only i could ever see you
i knew you, i know you.
all your pitt stops, they are temperaroy
partial attention,its your drug
one after the other.
my eyes glisten.
you narrate your sob story,
and the chicken is eating from your hand,
thats ok,i dont care
cause im an eagle.
and im better then that.
you walk through life blind
and i know i was the only one you ever saw
the first time you really opened your eyes
you saw me.
your gone now and you regret it i know
i see and you saw
but its all different now.
i hate it,cause if i could
i would rewind the story
rewrite it.
but its printed

all the colors we make

i can picture our lives in pastel,every color vibrant..
every moment you stared at me,or looked to my eyes,
all the times you kissed me and i shivered,
cause i knew it was all real,
i can paint it,picture it in motion.
everyday the sun rose and your face was what i woke up to
a loving hug,you were still half asleep..
its all there.
i remember the fights and the red that plastered our past,
the moments we held to each other because we had no one else
we, were all we had, and it was fine that way.
i remember camping..waking in the tent next to you,
waking to the sun rising, to peace..
you could hear the wind, the birds, the water moving and our talking
it was perfect
so many colors we've made together,
that we've shared together
i can hear your voice in my head
your words are falling out,
i caught them.

a diamond and coal

my mind is twisted
these words burning through my head
leaving a gaping hole,
'even diamonds start off as coal'..
im a diamond, ready to be
shining bright, im your way to see
but you.
your coal,dark,dirty
were everything different
but you know me.
i was coal once
but you made me shine
made me see the world
i saw that i was blind..
every diamond starts as coal
and i was waiting for you,
for your shine
for you to sit up and be mine
but times passed and there you are
you were my diamond to be.
what do i do now,
should i stay
should i leave.